Pulled Groins and Breakdowns..... whaaat?

Vacation time again! It really feels like I'm not working anymore, which is a good thing because I need to catch up with school work, but also a bad thing because we need monies! I worked today, and now I am off for two days. I talked to my boss today, and I am going to be PR, or only working as needed. So if someone goes on leave or vacation or whatever, I will come in and work a couple days, and I am going to work the X shift on the weekends. Which is only 5:30 - 7:30, but with that shift, I get paid more. So all in all it works out pretty well.

Ryan pulled a muscle, and has been hurtin the last couple days. We have been walking, and icing it tonight, so hopefully that will help it heal. His mom and I agree that he probably shouldn't play hockey on Monday, but he says that he is playing no matter what if he feels better. If it still hurts he will think about not playing..... Boys so stubborn!

The other day, I basically had a breakdown. I have been worrying about us getting jobs, and paying bills, and the other day it just all took over. I got in the shower, and was just so upset. I think I just sat down in the shower and let the water run over me for a good half an hour. Everyone probably thought I had drowned. Then I came out, and took it out on Ryan. I hate how I do that, keep everything bottled up till I have a breakdown, and take it out on him. Almost immediately after the stupid argument I start and carry on to him (because he usually just sits and takes it), I feel awful about it. I am so blessed to have him. He just lets me be upset, and then he apologizes.... when I should be the one apologizing. I am so lucky for such a great partner. But anyways, I was just thinking about how he doesn't have a job yet, and I was still looking at the time, which I will probably still do, and I was thinking about how we had the best jobs EVER in Effingham, with amazing friends. We also would have school there, and my family to take us in till we could afford our own place. We have several things there, that we don't have here. The only great thing about being here is Ryan's family is absolutely amazing to me, and are great to us. I know my family would do the exact same thing for us, it's just knowing we would be leaving his family here. But I also left my family, so I know Ryan could do it, if we were to choose to move back.

I don't know, it's extremely overwhelming, and I struggle all the time going through all of this in my head. Seeing us struggle here, and knowing we wouldn't be in Effingham...... kinda tough. But it is all going to work out in the end. I just have to focus on school, because that is why I moved here, and to be with Ryan of course! So those are what I need to be focusing on right now. 

I love my family at home, and if you guys read this... I love you so so much, more than anything, and I hope you know that I miss you and think about you every single day. I think a part of me gets upset also about the whole situation because I miss my family, and puppies, and friends A LOT. Things will get better! There is always tomorrow, and just seeing Ryan and knowing I'm here with him helps me calm myself when I get upset. 

Tomorrow we shall...... hmmmmm.... I really don't know! haha. Probably do homework, and just hang around the house. That is my guess, but we will see!! Goodnight everyone, this girl is tired!

My little man, Kada! Isn't he just adorable! Goodness I miss my puppies!